What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

What! how could you do that?

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

Why can't NASA just bite the bullet and launch a plainly simple mission, audited by flat earther peers start to finish that definitively proves to even the smallest minds that the earth is an oblong spheroid, and not flat?

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

What do you mean son?

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

Is there porn on TikTok?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

Why aren't U.S. prisons more like Marine Corps boot camp, were every second of the day there are mandatory activities so that at night everyone is so tired they go to sleep until wakeup at 5:30 am? Would this make prisons safer for all?

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

True - how I loved my mum!

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Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

How many wishes do people get on their birthday?

Do you know what she said mum?